After a serie of high and lows over the past 18 months (including the failure of a project I gave all my energy in, a divorce, a burnout and the loss of a very close friend), I realised I needed a break to let decant everything that happend to me during this period before moving on to the next phase of my life ( or maybe it is just what others call the 40s crisis ).
Over the past years, I have been practicing sporadically short meditations , auto hypnosis and a little bit of yoga, which usually help me a lot to regain some peace and balance :
But this time I needed something different. something longer. something intense. something deeper.
About 20 years ago ( yes, I am that old that I can start sentences this way), a Businees School teacher of mine mentionned a vipassana retreat. Then a few years ago, the girlfriend of my bestfriend mentionned that word again as part of her life experiences along with Ayahuasca- but that is a totally different story-and a couple of months ago, while searching for a “silent retreat” I encountered the word of “Vipassana” again and thought it could be good to get there.
So without really searching for information about the schedule, the organisation and the specificities of what is exactly Vipassana, I registered and got accepted. It started on the 9th of August 2022 in Tonneins (I think I will never forget the date and place). I may probably write later about what happened to me, elaborate on some details of the experience (like a former student did in this article), but for know I want to warn you.
Vipassana is hard. Vipassana is uncomfortable. Vipassana is challenging.
So why are so many people not only doing it once, but getting evenback there ?
After all, have we ever gain anything from doing the hard thing ?
But despite being low on energy I am stil playfull so instead of telling you why, I will tell you why not — spoiler alert, in the end I will give a glimpse on the why ( after all we know that we should always start with the why — or least have it somewhere in the pitch)
A) It is hard to get there and have we ever gain anything from being commited ?
- You will meditate 10 hours a day for 10 days (litteraly — you will medidate 10 hours a day for 10 days)
- You will turn off your phone for 10 days ( technically not true as you can leave it turned on but as you will give it away and you are not likley to have a Nokia 3310 it will turn off by itself when running out of battery)
- You will not speak for the duration of the 9 first days ( actually it is not just speaking, you are not even allowed to communicate with other students by gesture or eye contact)
- You will have vegan only meals and you wont have dinner ( fun fact, after 5 days I discover how delicious can be a basic, sugar free muesli)
B) It is uncomfortable and have we ever gain anything from stepping out our comfort zone ?
- You will sit in the very same place most days from 4:30 am to 9:00 pm (rougly 1.5 sq meter, which is about half of what jail housing units with two inmates have — BUT at Vipassana you are lucky that this is not your room but your assigned seat in the mediation hall so there is lot of free space around)
- You will have a packed schedule from 4:30 am to 9:00 pm (mostly based on hearing a gong, walking to the meditation hall, meditating,hearing a gong again, walking to your room, start again)
- You will not take any decision from 4:30 am to 9:00 pm ( and between 9:00 and 4:00 you will most likely sleep)
(bonus point) : Yes all 3 previous points starts at 4:30, which mean you will wake up every day at … 4:00am so you can get a shower before starting your day ( Isn’t it a common saying about “The world belongs to those who gets up early” ?)
C) It is challenging and after all, who really needs to be pushed ?
- Your body will be challenged ( advanced yoga teachers where complaingin about staying in position all day — which made me feel less lonely with my back pain)
- Your ego will be challenged ( as litteraly no one looks at you, there no point in maintaining any outter image. I have to admit this effect is still effective so I was fine sharing these Tshirt less photos at the beginning of the article …)
- Your believes and motivations will be challenged ( I did not expected much on this — especially by being atheist- but still I was challenged)
Now that you are warned, you are probably wondering — like a few of my friends- So what the hell did you get out of it ?
Long story short, the most visible change is that it lead me to sit cross legged (on a mat, or on a zafu and/or on a mediation bench) and greatly improved my flexibility ( hips / psoas opening). Note though that this is absolutely not part of the things being tought, but more of a personal learning — the only instruction we received regarding sitting position was to keep our back and neck straight.
At a more internal / mind level, provided I have most of my sanity (or at least I believe I do), I am usually ethusiast and optimisitic (Arg that’s my ego kicking back in), that I do enjoy parties and love socializing , I can articulate my answer very simply :
Clarity and peace
To me, this is priceless. Is worth all the hardship, hardness, toughness, difficulty and pain of the last 10 days. It helped me be a better person ( as a father, brother, son, colleague, boss, mentor … man and human) — or at least so I think right now, only time will tell whether it is the case or not.
And I would recommend anyone and everyone to take a Vipassana course, and find their inner peace.
Wait but didn’t you gave a list of reasons not to do it ?
Yes, but as you now understand I am telling you that thoses are the reasons WHY you should do it. (ok that was a clickbait title but I told you , I am playfull :)
Because it will make you commited.
Because it will force you out of your comfort zone.
Because it is challenging yourself and your self.
And cherry on the cake, it is free ( more precisely it is based on donations, meaning you can afford it whatever your situation is).
I will happily elaborate my answer in a chat, an email thread, a face to face conversation so if you have any question — or just want to share thoughts, feel free to get in touch :)
Thanks for reading this.
May peace be with all beings.
